My wife is often tearful before her period and we frequently have rows. Can i prevent this?

Tenderness2Because of the change in hormone levels during the menstrual cycle many women feel tense an irritable, less attractive and lacking in energy in the days just before menstruation. You can’t  alter you wife’s hormone pattern but you can accept it and try to be as loving as possible during these days, even if she seems unreasonable. Get her to put her feet up, cherish and spoil her a bit. And give her a hug if she tries to argue. She’s not feeling herself any more than you are when you are feeling ill.

Should I worry that we can’t afford to buy our small children many toys?

The love and affection you give your children is far more important than anything you can buy them. Besides, children don’t need expensive toys. They need you to play with them and you can all have a lot of fun with bits of junk such as egg cartons, cotton reels and big cardboard boxes. Buy some paints and glue and see what you can invent together. The children will remember doing these sorts of things with you with far more affection than if you had bought them an expensive toy.

The real person

Tenderness is a way of expressing our feelings of warmth and caring for another person as they inwardly are, not as they present themselves to the outside world. We may feel protective towards their vulnerability, affectionate about their idiosyncrasies and close to the real self which they have allowed use to see. Tenderness can sometimes seem to be far more deeply felt than, for example.